You may not believe me, but I’m seldom bored. Today I am. Usually, I read, write, find a project or if all else fails, clean house. My mind doesn’t like to sit still long. Chemo brain, I’m told, causes lack of focus, which has hit hard meaning I can’t stay tuned to a book or movie or conversation. Makes me wonder what else in my brain has been affected.
The worst part of the cancer treatment is coming in the next two weeks and yes, I am not looking forward to it. Radiation burn and the effects do not sound like fun. But with God, and the prayers of the saints, I will make it through.
God has been good and I have not been depressed so far. I thought I would be since I tend to be a melancholy person; poets are like that I think. And I call myself a poet after more than 4,000 poems written – good and bad, heavy on the later.
Not saying I won’t get down at some point. I look at David who wrote Psalm and he certainly had his gloomy moments. I’ve been marking verses just in case I need them, like “Be not far from me, Oh God; come quickly, O my God, to help me.” Ps 71:12, and “I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.” Ps 69:29.
When my pleas seem to fail I will fall back on His love. “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” Psalm 118:14 “Whoever is wise, let him heed these things, and consider the great love of the Lord. Ps 107:43.
A blue crane, an endangered species, landed on the pond in my back yard last week. In East Asia culture, a blue crane symbolizes longevity. With my foggy brain, I wondered if I imagined the bird so I took a picture. Let me know if I’m mistaken on the identity of this visitor, but it stayed for an extended afternoon visit.
What a nice surprise. I watched the crane, calm and collected amidst the chaos of geese, ducks, and squirrels. May my heart be like that. Though bored and uncomfortable, no matter what goes on around me, may I be peaceful and unruffled.